Tuesday, May 19, 2015

a reminder: i'm not going to be pregnant forever. thank goodness.

Oh man, 38 weeks! I had forgotten how during that last month of pregnancy you wake up each day to an even bigger bump. It's terrifying and awesome and crazy all at once. Truth: I am not the *best* pregnant person out there. With both of my pregnancies I have been moody and generally uncomfortable. I'm not someone who enjoys or cherishes the miracle, unfortunately. Sure, there are a few weeks tucked in there sometime during the second trimester when I can feel the baby wiggle its wiggle and I catch myself thinking, Oh wow this is really cool. But most of the time I'm a total cranky, grump. You know those I'm Sorry for What I Said tees? Well, someone really needs to make me one for pregnancy. 

A question I had a lot lately is whether or not my two pregnancies have been at all similar. The answer is both yes and no. (Both of my bumps are pictured above.) When pregnant with Cecile, during the first trimester I certainly felt fatigued and queasy in a hungover sort of way. That was cruel, too, as I wasn't drinking. But with this kiddo, I was a flat-on-her-back, sea-sick-band-wearing chica. No fun. Also not fun this go-around was that I totally missed out on whatever "honeymoon" the second trimester usually gifts pregnant women. I swear, whatever small sniffle or cough Cecile brought home this winter, I would catch and the disease would just THRIVE. I am not employing hyperbole when I say I was fighting one bug or another from the day after Thanksgiving until mid-March. And now in the third trimester, the Braxton Hicks are strong, yo. I get it that your body has been through all this before and it's just amping up and exercising for the Big Day, but damn, thank goodness I know what real contractions feel like or I'd be checking myself into the hospital with false labor every other day. 

On a positive note, something that has been better this go-around: my skin. Granted, the majority of this pregnancy spanned over the winter months when my complexion is better anyway, but there were no high school-style hormone surges that seemed to mess with it. I'm grateful for that, too, because the last thing you need when your body is going through so many changes and you're often feeling frumpy is to backpedal to a point in your life you felt most insecure, ha. As for cravings, with Cecile I craved all things citrus and sour (lemonade, anyone?), but with this pregnancy it's been more about avoiding certain foods. Fish, for example, I had to steer clear of for the entire first trimester, even though it's been my favorite food for forever. These days I make a point of cooking salmon once or twice a week--it's for the baby, easy to throw together, and Cecile loves it to boot--but I'd be lying if I didn't tell you white fish still turns me off a bit. Hoping that's something that disappears after I deliver.

Speaking of delivery, I'm crazy anxious to find out if this baby is a boy or girl. Because I still haven't a clue, honestly. Last pregnancy I would've sworn up and down to you that Cecile was a boy (we didn't know with her, either), so I am really not confident in any inklings I may have. As for carrying a certain way, a comment I most love (or hate?) is, "Oh you're not that big!" Seriously, people. Next person who says that to me, my response will be, "Neither are you!!" On that note, a funny story: The other day I asked Jon what he thought we're having and he says, "A boy, because you're carrying wider this time." Seriously, love the man, but sometimes the man doesn't think before speaking. And for the record, I think I'm carrying exactly the same as last time, thank you very much.

In any case, the anticipation is killing me, and I'm ready to know for certain that the baby is healthy and alright. Oh! But mostly I'm excited for Cecile! Seriously, I know it's going to be a challenge to juggle two kids instead of one, but I'm lucky enough to know firsthand just how truly awesome it is to have siblings and I am so excited to see the type of big sister Cecile will be :) :) x.

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