Monday, October 9, 2017

37/52 & 38/52 & 39/52.

We are a few weeks into the new school year. I am child-free every day 9:00 a.m. until 2 p.m. Yet I have done nothing significant with my time other than what I was already doing: laundry, dishes, dinner prep, gardening, vacuuming. Rinse, repeat. How is there always so much housework?! I promised myself I'd reorganize every closet, put together photo albums, sharpen every corner I've cut for the last five years. I have absolutely no understanding how two-income households ever manage. I barely can. The reason for this little rant is I really want to start freelancing again. I have ideas. Finally! I have ideas and ideas and ideas because the now only voice I hear most mornings is the one inside my head. I haven't published a piece since I was pregnant with Genevieve, and that makes me feel so very out of touch with the person I once considered myself to be. And so I am trying really, really hard not to beat myself up. 

But enough about that. The kids! If there is one post-Labor Day change it's that when Cecile and Genevieve return from school, I am ready for them. It's so nice to be present, to engage with a craft in the playroom or to read books or to really listen and respond without the nagging pull to be doing something else. 

Cecile transitioned right back into school, not missing a beat. I overheard her say, "I liked being a First Year Friend because you can use your time any way you want. Being a Second Year Friend is all about the work." Oh girlfriend, how much you have to learn. She does concede that the Montessori banking and the moveable alphabet work are quite fun. Another bit of excitement (and I know I've said this before, but): Cecile is reading. Like, really reading. Her nose is always stuck in a book. And while we're still working through phonetics together, she knows most words she encounters. Gone are the days we can go to a restaurant and tell her there are no chicken fingers because she reads the menu herself. It's a good problem to have.

Genevieve took a little longer than her sister to warm up to school. She loves her days with her teachers and classmates, but the morning separation is still sticky. We'll get there, I know it. And then I'll be left wishing I were more wanted. So it goes. 

Let's see ... favorite things about Genevieve at the moment: When I wake her up from her nap (if she naps, that is), she always wants a long hug before we get undressed and march onward, and it's just the best. She will try any food. Any! The other day I made linguini with clams and she took more clams for herself than anyone else at the table. She has happy feet. Her run is more of a frolic, really. "I go fast!" she says. 

The weather is showing some signs of change, but it's not consistent. Summer in the sun and autumn in the shade. Beech nuts litter our yard, forcing us to wear shoes in our backyard for the first time in weeks. I've grown accustomed to fresh herbs from the garden, cucumbers on demand, and fresh tomatoes ripened on the vine. But I am anxious to bring out the fire pit and seek warmth under a blanket. It will come. All of it. With time. 

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